Birth, Babywearing, and Breastfeeding

I am realizing that parenthood involves a lot of 'b' words. There are several articles I have come across during the past couple weeks that I have been dying to share and discuss with you all but, man, life has been hectic! Here is a rare, quiet moment when both kids are asleep and DH is not home so let's try to at least get this started, shall we?

First comes this amazingly and understandably controversial article called Every Parent Should Know the Scandalous History of Infant Formula. I know I have mentioned before on this blog, several times at least, about how my family does NOT purchase any Nestle products (or any of the brands that they own - found here). I usually just link to Wikipedia because those articles, while often containing some errors, are short and easy to comprehend. Let me be clear in saying that Wikipedia was NOT where I learned about the Nestle scandal. This Jill Krasny article is not new but it was new to me. I love the breakdown. It is not short, but certainly not that long and because of the format of her writing, it is comprehensible to the average person.

I know that the initial reaction to this, and articles like it, is a largely defensive response from mothers who formula feed. They get in line, one-by-one, to share their devastating stories of why they had to formula feed; each story more heartbreaking than the one before. However, I don't see an attack on mothers who formula feed here. I see an attack on the formula companies.

If and when women have to formula feed, hell even if they CHOOSE to formula feed, shouldn't we demand more for their babies? Should THEY be demanding more for their babies? Instead of getting defensive, shouldn't they be rallying and breaking down the doors of the Nestle corporation to demand better ingredients and more ethical practices from a company whose job is to help mothers and feed babies? I know I would be.

Now is not the time to debate formula feeding overall. I have made my stance on the issue clear, ad nauseam even. Today I am here to stand up for the FFing mamas. I am here to shout to the skies that their babies deserve a nutritious formula. I am here to demand that formula company giants stop putting cheap crap in there to earn an extra buck (on top of the millions they are already making). I want formula companies to be outed for the frauds they are. They are not selling "milk", they are selling a cheap chemical concoction. They are not supporting moms who cannot breastfeed, they are preying on moms whose deepest fear is that they will not be able to breastfeed. And I, for one, will not be party to it.

Everybody's up and screaming so this will have to be continued...

Prenatal and Postpartum Exercise

I have mentioned before about the incredible women I am meeting through Rochester Area Birth Network. Colleen Flaherty ranks high among them. This is exactly the kind of forward-thinking, high-energy youth that Rochester needs to keep this city progressive and keep labor and birth here natural and low-risk. Anyone who has met her knows that the future holds great things in store for Colleen. At just 26 years old, she has recently started a business focused on prenatal and postpartum health and fitness. What an awesome resource for women in our area!

What is the name of your company and what is its philosophy?

Baby Bump Academy

Every woman deserves the opportunity to be her strongest self.

Where is BBA located?

Currently, I train in Physikos in Village Gate Square.
(302 North Goodman Street, Rochester, New York 14607)

How did you get the idea to start this company?

I thought it was cool to see a pregnant woman 8,9 months pregnant in the gym with their big bellies waddling around lifting weights. Granted, it was a very rare occasion. So I researched it. And I was hooked. I've always been obsessed with learning how things work. I just question everything. So when I learned that the human body is able to grow another human and train at the same time it was like a light bulb. I knew not many women exercised during pregnancy and I knew how I felt being an avid gym junkie and athlete; I made it my mission to inspire women to feel fabulous at any stage. Being in the weight room since I was a teenager has given me so much confidence. Looking back, I've learned a lot about society and stigmas being one of a couple girls in a male dominated arena. No wonder more women weren't training during pregnancy. It wasn't a 'normal' thing to workout in the first place! I'm not one to go with the flow. As soon as I saw there was no one in Rochester supporting pregnant women, Baby Bump Academy was conceived. (pun intended)

What kind of training have you yourself received?

I am a AFPA Certified Prenatal Exercise Specialist, a NSCA Certified Personal Trainer, a NSCA Certified Strength & Conditioning Specialist, and a NYSW Certified Soccer Coach.

Why is health and fitness so important to you, personally?

When I was younger, probably because I had to be the best. I played soccer. I was fast. I was coachable. I was good. And I always wanted to be better. That work ethic is part of me and it showed in athletics. So when I tore both my ACLs in high school - I went to a dark place. It took me a while to figure out how I could be the best without being an athlete. As I've aged, training is something I can always go back to and I know how it's going to make me feel. It's going to make me feel like Super Woman! It's going to make me more alert, energized, and sexy. It feels incredible! It's addicting because our bodies naturally crave movement to thrive that's why you feel SO GOOD when you do it. Your body is saying, "ooooh, that's the stuff!"

What makes your company unique?

BBA is the only business in Rochester focused on purposeful movement and nutrition of women before, during, and after pregnancy.

What need does your company fulfill in our community?

Sure, there are prenatal yoga classes and birth classes, but there aren't birth strength classes anywhere in Rochester. The need is so great! What about women after birth? Where are the post-birth classes? BBA trains women in every stage. As a woman, I feel a draw to empower other women to be their strongest self. We all deserve it. We selflessly do so much for others - we need this one thing for us. Exercising, I call it 'training', is more than just iron and machines in a weight room with sweaty dudes. As hot as that sounds, every workout is an accomplishment. You just tortured your body to make it better. You challenged your mind to be quicker and more coordinated. There is so so much more to training then just looking good naked. That's just the result! It's about the pride after a great session. It's about growth and adaptation. It's about being a better person for yourself so you can be there for your family.

What makes you so passionate about the health and wellness of pregnant women?

Oh man, I could literally talk about this topic endlessly. I began BBA as a business move, finding a niche that no one else was capitalizing on. But when I joined Rochester Area Birth Network, met so many inspiring birth professionals, and mothers, my job became more clear. I was and am still like, "holy wow, I was meant to be in this role". Every day there is this fire that grows inside me to advocate for my fellow woman. There is so much going on in the world of birth; politics, education, resources, emotions; I am driven to help women FEEL strong and ready to take on anything. Cassie, a registered dietician, works along side me to provide women nutritional guidance because adapting a healthy lifestyle starts with what you put in your body.

How do you plan on connecting with your pregnant clients even though you yourself have never been pregnant?
 

Great question. And honestly a fact that I fear the most. It's a disadvantage. It's something that I don't want women to hold against me but I definitely acknowledge that it could be a deal breaker. Everyone is entitled to feel safe and connected to a professional they are seeking guidance from. At the same time, a lot of women seek the support of professionals that haven't gone through what they're going through; a male OB/GYN or wedding planner who's never been married, for example. I know the human body. I know a pregnant human body. I know women. As with any professional, my knowledge will grow with my experience and I hope the good things people say about training will be enough to convince women they should give me a shot.

What can a woman expect when she comes to one of your classes?

To be sore the next day. In a good way obviously! To answer the question another way - one on ones and group classes run pretty much the same way except in private sessions women get the added benefit of asking me all their questions, I can watch their technique more closely, we build a respectful relationship more quickly, and the workout is created for her needs. I like interchanging circuit training with timed rounds, mini sets, long sets, certain equipment, & more!

Describe your instruction style in three words:

1. fun
2. interactive
3. educational

What's the difference between a woman exercising at home by following a video and a woman coming to the BBA to exercise?

It's a million dollar business selling pregnancy workout DVDs and magazines. Those DVDs are for women who can hold themselves accountable AND know what they're doing. This is the second most important reason as to why I created BBA. I want to be the real life, 3D person women can come to. Women band together in joint efforts and companionship. We go to the bathroom in groups! I want to hug them, welcome them into a safe training space they can call their own, talk with them, answer all their questions, and support them in any way I can. Can a DVD do that for you?

What do you think is the number one reason that women put fitness on the back burner?

#1: Selflessness
#2: Education

Women do so much for other people that we forget to put ourselves first. A lot of women are uneducated or misinformed when it comes to how they should be moving their bodies. More so when it comes to working out during pregnancy and postpartum.

If you could give only one piece of advice to pregnant women about keeping fit during her pregnancy, what would it be and why?
 

Never underestimate the power of your breath. It will help you through resistance. It will calm you. It will play a huge role during your birth. Practice belly breathing - it will help keep your core strong. 

Any last words?
 

Women need to stop being afraid or hesitant to invest in themselves. Starting something new is scary. But when we're uncomfortable, changes happen. Everyone finds time to watch TV or get drinks with a friend. Everyone spends money on a new phone or slimmer TV. Only a few invest the time and money into bettering the ONE body they will have forever. Every woman deserves to feel unstoppable. Every baby deserves a healthy womb to grow in. Every kid deserves a mom that can hug, and jump, and run around the yard.

 

*********************************************************

 

You can really feel her passion. And let me tell you, this is actually what it is like to speak with Colleen. She truly believes in this mission. What a gift to have felt such a calling so young. I encourage all moms and moms-to-be to check out what the Baby Bump Academy has to offer!



what's going on?

Here are some odds and ends about what's going on with me these days:

1. I am officially a (provisional) Bradley teacher. Here's the proof: http://www.bradleybirth.com/devinpalmesano-beach
http://healthybirth.net/
Now is the hard part. Now I sit and wait for a lovely couple to contact me about attending my class. If they don't...well, it happens. I just keep moving the date back until it strikes someone's fancy. I'm sure I could work harder at self-promoting but I am just so overwhelmed. When we were pregnant with Lydia, I had heard about the Bradley Method from a cousin. I looked it up online and found a teacher in my area who was holding classes on a day that worked for us. That was it. Nothing poetic about that. I thought, and another Bradley teacher agreed, that holding a Saturday morning class would fulfill a unique need in the community, since classes are generally held in the late evenings. I know that, as a pregnant woman, it was completely exhausting to go to work all day and then go to a two-hour class once a week afterwards. It complete worth it, obviously, but I was so tired! I hope that a Saturday morning class will appeal to some people the way it appeals to me.

2. I would like to get a DBA. As a Bradley teacher, I am also technically certified as a Doula. However, Rochester has a HUGE doula community, particularly relative to its size. I would LOVE to participate in the births of my students' little ones but I recognize that others before me have paid their dues and will be more skilled. However, I would like to offer some other birth services. For example, another veteran Bradley teacher in the area is an expert in prenatal nutrition. She gives talks, writes papers, etc. on the subject. I think that is awesome! I think I would like to investigate baby nutrition - particularly in the realm of extended BFing and BLW. I could write some articles and maybe set up a class at luvaboos!

3. That being said, I need to think of a clever business name! Jeff says simple is best. However, all of the other birth services businesses around here have these lovely, romantic, peaceful names. I have to think of a way to stand out or, at least, join ranks. Jeff keeps suggesting sweet but silly names, which is not the flavor I am going for. We shall see. I want to make a Facebook page and, more importantly, an email address so I can keep all of my Bradley business separate and safe from other emails.

4. Elliott and I are still going strong nursing at almost 1 year now! I asked at my LLL meeting about what toddler nursing looks like. They had me borrow a very helpful book called Mothering Your Nursing Toddler. Sure, the cover art is outdated but the information is proving to be very relevant. It has given me a lot to think about it, some things I had never even considered! I feel very empowered.

5. Elliott is a signing fool! He signs 'milk', 'eat', 'all done', 'doggy', 'kitty', 'ball', 'mommy', 'daddy', and 'shoes' so far. He is also trying to talk! It is so cute! I cannot believe that my baby will be 1 in a few short weeks! We are also SO unprepared for his upcoming party. Hoepfully we'll be able to pull this off!

6. Lydia is becoming wuite the little lady. We went for a walk last night and she made the choice to WALK the whole time! We had the wagon (which Elliott was riding in) but she walked independently the whole time. It was just like you see in the movies. She alternated holding my hand and her Daddy's hand, she touched every bush/flower/tree/living thing we passed, she alternated between walking, running, hopping. It was so precious.

Babywearin' on the Farm - We had a fun Sunday at a good friend's uncle's farm. Elliott loved all of the "kitties" and Lydia got to feed a baby goat with a bottle and collect some chicken eggs!

sharing policy

I really wish I were a more progressive parent. But the truth is, when my child behaves in a way that I feel is inappropriate and needs correction and guidance, I fall into strategies that my parents used on me, no matter how stupid they are. Now, I am proud to say that we are not no will we ever be a hitting family. It makes zero sense to me to tell a child that they cannot hit you, their siblings, their friends at school, their teachers, etc. but hit them as a form of discipline. I do not want to hit my kids because hitting is wrong.

However, we do do time-outs in this house. I know that time-outs are controversial in the attachment parenting community. I have read and discussed articles about the consequences and alternatives. However, I am really struggling in this arena. I am a work in progress.

I like to blame the majority of it on my lack of sleep. I have not slept longer than a 4-hour stretch in almost 11 months thanks to a certain (absolutely adorable) little boy who still wakes 2-3x a night. I am exhausted. I just cannot focus on anything. My creative juices are all dried up. Also, the rough terrain I am currently navigating on this particular path in my life (not for this blog) has left me pretty stressed and on edge. Unfortunately, it is affecting my home life, particularly my parenting and I know I gotta reign this in. I am a work in progress.

In an effort to find my parenting style groove, I need to first really establish my parenting philosophies. This article gave me a lot to think about. I do frequently find myself bending to what I think others' expectations are for my own child's behavior in public. I hear myself telling them things I don't actually think  are true so that we all appear to be proper and civilized. The pressures of everyone's judgement affect me more than I wish they would. I wish I could be one of those cool, calm, and collected moms but I am not confident enough in my parenting to be that mom-tastic. I am a work in progress.

*Side Note: I mailed in my Bradley training academic package this past Thursday! I hope to hear back from the Academy within the next couple weeks! Fingers crossed!

when to start solids

For whatever reason, a lot of parents start getting antsy about when they can start feeding their babies solids when their babies hit about 4 months old. Maybe it's because their own parents, whose pediatricians told them to start cereal in bottles at 3 months, start asking questions. Maybe it's because that's when babies start acting less like helpless blobs of newborn and more like little people. Maybe it's because they are tired and people keep insisting that once babies start eating solids (read: that worthless, processed, void of nutritional value cereal) they magically start sleeping through the night. Whatever the reason, it is not a good enough reason to start feeding babies before they are 6 months old.

This recently released study got a lot of mams talking! It is absolutely true that pediatricians are still frequently telling mothers to start their babies on solids at 4 months. I hear it all the time. I heard it myself with the traditional pediatrician we were talking DD to before we switched to our family doctor. What's mind boggling is that mothers are given a myriad of sometimes conflicting reasons why a baby needs to start solids before 6 months. The baby is too big so breast milk is not enough, the baby is too small so breast milk is not enough, the baby isn't sleeping through the night so she needs solids, the baby is sleeping through the night so she needs solids, etc. It is unethical.

I absolutely believe that the rise in childhood obesity is tied to many factors which I will not be discussing here. But I will say that some the most important factors have to be the use of baby formula, starting babies on solids too early, and those first solids being processed, boxed foods rather than nutritional whole foods. Basically, we are all getting fatter and we are taking our kids with us.

My plea is simple. Go to the Baby Led Weaning section of this blog and read up! Get your kiddo on the path to a healthy lifestyle. You lay the foundation. You be the example. Even if, like me, you are not doing what's optimal for your own diet, you can still do right by your child.

Happy Easter!

I trust everyone who celebrates had a peaceful and enjoyable Easter holiday. My holiday was...long. But my kids had a good time and that is what matters, right? So I came across this article and thought it was a very appropriate tie-in to a holiday devoted to eating candy and chocolate. I had begun to notice this trend a while ago, but now that my daughter is preschool age, it is really evident.

I will start by saying that even though we did do pureed food with my daughter, we always made the food ourselves using fresh, whole foods. DH and I agreed that they whole "smash cake" trend for babies at their one-year birthday is...well, weird. There are lots of ways to let a kid get messy on a birthday. Why does sugar have to be involved? We gave my daughter her own sugar-free cake that DH found the recipe for and proudly made himself. She really enjoyed the treat. And yes, we had "regular" cake for the other guests.

I have a pretty unhealthy relationship with food and I know that. I want better for my kids. I know that the majority of eating habits start when kids are young. So much sugar and sweeteners and colors and preservatives and other additives are thrown into foods, even those we might consider "healthy", (like milk?!) it seemed unnecessary to expose them to candy and sweets. We all know that it only a matter of time before they go to a friend's house, etc. and have Twinkies or whatever. No, we are not perfect health food junkies. My kids eat those cheese goldfish crackers and pretzels, granola bars and graham crackers. They have eaten pizza and chicken strips. They eat breakfast cereal, which I hate and DH and I argue about because it's little more than a bowl of cookies with milk poured on them. (He insists that because they are all fortified, that it all balances it out. I'd rather make eggs with fruit every morning.) On special occasions my 3-year-old has had cake, cookies, ice cream, etc. However, on the day to day, I think we do a pretty good job giving my kids a variety of healthful whole foods.

But back to the real focus of the article. My experience has been identical to the one of this author. Kids are given candy EVERYWHERE for EVERYTHING. I worked in a 6th grade classroom where the 6th grade special ed resource teacher would give the students a few pieces of candy EACH TIME they went to see him. I saw speech teachers give kids bags of candy for holiday parties, knowing full well that those same kids would be given bags of candy in their own classroom parties. In the high school I worked in there were VENDING MACHINES IN THE CAFETERIA. They would not turn on the vending machines until the end of the last lunch, but I saw many a child line up at the machine with their lunch money, after having not one bite of actual lunch, and spend all the money on chips. And we are not even going to start a discussion on what constitutes as a healthy "lunch" at schools nowadays. I once asked a class what I could do better as a teacher, and they told me that I should bring them candy...and they were 7th graders! Seriously? Candy? Doesn't that seem really immature for 13-year-olds? That is when I determined that too many kids are just plain addicted! Good grief!

I would whole-heartedly urge people who work with children to stop buying candy! The kids don't need it! If you want to follow the logic that the only way you can get kids to do what you want is to bribe them, then fine. But I beg you to use raisins, stickers, marbles, stamps, temporary tattoos, etc. In a country where the rate of childhood obesity is flying faster than the speed of light, it just makes sense. I think sweet treats are fine for special occasions. I am no Grinch. I have favorite cookies I associate with certain holidays and I expect my kids will too because that is normal. But I certainly don't see why our children should "earn" candy at every turn for every "good behavior" they exhibit. It just isn't necessary. Our babies are sweet enough.

extended breastfeeding

So Elliott is 10 months old and breastfeeding is still going strong. 10 months was a milestone for us because I only made it to 9 months with Lydia...and we had started supplementing at 7 months.

Nursing HAD been going really well with Lydia. I went back to work and I pumped my face off. I knew I had to have a certain number of ounces pumped every day to make it through the next day. It was so stressful. Moms who EP are my heros, seriously. I should have sought out more support. I should have done more to keep up my supply. I just didn't have the tools or support. It is something I really regret. I mean, I was so close! Ugh!

Anyways, being a SAHM has made successful breastfeeding MUCH easier. However, it doesn't make me any less proud. I hit up the LLL meetings, I ate the cookies, drank the tea, BFed uncovered whenever and where ever. BFing is always takes SOME work. And sometimes, it takes really hard work.

So now that we have made it 10 months, it seems hard to imagine stopping in just 2 months. Elliott is still up once or twice a night to nurse, for God's sake! We are so bonded. He still nurses to say "hello" when we haven't seen each other for a few hours. (When I pick him up from my MIL's or something, he comes over to nurse for like, 30 seconds on each side. It is hilarious. I feel like he is just marking his territory.) Then this article crossed my path and now I am seriously considering letting him self-wean. There are a lot of things to consider, but most of the 'con's' are just other people's reactions, which I don't feel is fair. Why should others' ignorance affect how I live my life?

Because this is America, that's why. One religious group is against gay marriage and, before you know it, the American government is considering legislation to make it illegal! How the Hell does that happen? I wish I could be one of those people who seriously never seem to care what others think. I am so jealous of them. I am such a doormat. If I want to do extended breastfeeding, I am going to REALLY have to want it. And I am going to have to have Jeff's support...which I guess means we're going to have to talk about it.

I'm sure he will be on board, but I need to hear it from him. We need to be a strong, united front, deflecting nay-sayers left and right. Luckily, I trust that many of my friends will be supportive. However, I know that some friends and family will NOT be and I would be lying if I said that that would not bother me.

I wish that, instead of calling BFing that goes beyond one year "extended breastfeeding", we called BFing that ends before a year "abbreviated breastfeeding".