Monday, March 18, 2013

more progressive parenting ideas

I just read an incredible blog post about effectively communicating with a tantruming child. (See my comment at the bottom under the name "beachmommy'? Yep, that's me!) You can read it here: Elevated Child Care

Everything I have stated in my comment is the truth. I am a doormat. Jeff is pretty shy, too. I am a little worried about my own children becoming fearful, mouse-like people. Lydia used to exhibit traits of a slow-to-warm temperament and I was so concerned. She didn't smile until she was 10 weeks old. Most pictures of her, until she is about a year old, are of her staring at the camera but not smiling. She was so pensive and introverted.

We have a lot of pictures like this. She doesn't look unhappy but it's not exaclty smiling, is it?
However, what gave me hope was that she HAD bonded well with people besides Jeff and I. She was (and still is) very close to both sets of grandparents. She had a preferred 'teacher' at daycare. She had preferred friends at daycare. I brought her to daycare late one day and when I brought her into the room, many of the children ran to her, joyfully calling out her name. (That made me feel so good!) So I knew she was capable, it was just difficult for her. She would tremble in fear when meeting new people or going to new places. I felt so awful.

She has made a surprising amount of progress on that front. She will now approach new people (while we are around - not just any stranger with candy in a van!) and say hello and introduce herself and ask the new person's name. I am so proud of her! But with this new sense of confidence and independence comes a desire to test boundaries. I love it, I really do. Every time she yells "NO!" at me, I turn my head so she can't see me smile. I'm secretly thinking "You go, girl!"

But of course there are times when she needs (and even wants) boundaries. The death of my father 5 months ago has been tramatic and my sky-rocketing stress level is evident when I snap at her (or my poor husband, for that matter). I need to get it together. My inconsistant snapping is not helping anyone. This article really resonated with me and I am so glad I read it. I am going to be trying these strategies out tomorrow!

PS - My peanut is turning THREE on Wednesday! How can that be? Where does the time go?

From this (still at the hospital)...

to this (my birthday!)

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