Tuesday, May 6, 2014

"insert inaccurate inflammatory blog post title here"

I read this post the other day and felt so moved to write a response to it. Quite frankly, it infuriated me. Where to start?

1. I am so over the inflammatory and often inaccurate article titles that are used solely to increase traffic to the blog. You always end up disappointed. It's not the article you were hoping to read and it didn't discuss anything you were hoping to learn about. Lame. Let's look at the title of this article: This Young Mother Is Giving Up On Her Kids And I Don’t Blame Her. The author of this article is 29. The term "young mother" typically refers to a teenage or very early 20's mother. Everyone knows that. And I'm still unclear what exactly she is "giving up" on...

2. No one will never accuse me of being perfectly linear in my writing but I certainly cannot deal with Faulkner's stream of consciousness. The article starts off by lamenting the fact that the author's son couldn't take a toy gun to school and then made some other gender stereotyping remarks about how typical little boys behave. (All I could hear was "'Murca!" ringing around in my head.) Then it goes on to complain about all of the oversensitive and wimpy kids being raised today. ("If it were good enough for me growing up, then it's good enough for YOUR kids...") And then it somehow meanders its way into a rant about how she decided that it was her job to prepare her kids for disappointment in life by being the one to disappoint them. (It is her right, after all, as a woman who has so many facets to her life...)

Studies actually show that children who are regularly attended to become MORE independent and able to handle disappointment. Other developed and so-called "third world" nations continue to raise their children this way while we keep pushing our children away and shoving them aside when they don't fit into our busy schedules. And then we ask ourselves why they keep bringing guns to school and getting pregnant as teenagers. We aren't toughening them up. We are breaking them down.

Oh, and then there there was this little gem that a friend of a friend wrote up. (Oh, but don't worry, she's a nurse!) I am so sick of the American attitude that EBFing is just not "realistic", as in something that cannot possible occur "in real life". Excuse me, I live a very real life and am still breastfeeding at almost 2 years. I know I wasn't as successful with Lydia but I simply didn't know then what I know now. When you know better, you do better. "Don't feel like a failure if you fail at breastfeeding!" Just like everything else in American life, it must be someone else's fault! The long and short of it, and what I did not learn until the second time a round which is why I am more successful, is that breastfeeding is more than science. Too many moms, and consequently too many books and articles, focus on how to do it "right". 

The truth is there are lots of "right" ways to breastfeed. There is no one right formula and, by the way, formula, although not poison, does not help. It can help sick moms and babies but it does NOT help breastfeeding. It's going to start off slow. DON'T FREAK OUT! Just keep putting baby to breast. Work on getting comfortable, both of you. And enough with the books and articles! Find a girlfriend or make a new friend who breastfeeds successfully and see if she will let you WATCH her! It may sound weird to you now, because you are American and breastfeeding is "dirty" and "sexual". But believe me, most breastfeeding moms would LOVE to show off her skills and share the magic with a friend.

HAPPY NEWS: My most recent Bradley class had FOUR couples in it! They were an amazing group! One couple has already had their first baby in a hospital sans drugs or interventions. I am one proud mama :D